Hello there. As we have (all?) noticed, things in guild lately hasn't been as they should. Actually, things are pretty fucking far away from as they should be. And i have decided (should've done this earlier, im sorry! But thoughts of what im gonna do were just running up and down in my head) ill tell / share / explain things to you, because current situation, when nobody really knows what the fuck is going on, is unfair to all of you. Sorry again.
Raiding - pretty much reason, why i play this game. Next to spending my time in game with handfull of amazing people that i have meet over time. Another big reason why i STILL play this game at first place, why i stayed here and as impossible as it sounds, why i tried to make things work out. And sadly, i think , well obviously, i failed at that.
I remember days, days that didnt "end", so long time ago actually, when i just couldnt wait for that 7:45 to happen, to start with that raid, get in there, having laugh, fun while maintaining serious when needed, when it felt like we are "team", well because that is what raiding is about, isnt it ? TEAM of people that work together, people that help eachother, people that PARTICIPATE in that team(or guild, whatever) as a whole, just general teamplay? Huge factor wich is needed to make things work, to make stuff better and easier. Progression wise aswell, obviously. Huge factor for people to feel they like this place, they want to be here, to make people care, even for that a little bit. And where is that ? It vanished like fart in the wind in unreasonable amount of time. And blame is on me. I should react asap. I shouldn't let this happen, but there were reasons i didn't do that and i regret this badly. Like lack of people that we would have if i would react for example, we wouldn't to be able to raid, not wanting to stop progression and waiting to get those replacements , etc, ect.. And it was horrible mistake and because of that we got to the point where we are. I can add fact that i got to become GM just like that, in matter of 15 minutes, eventho i really never wanted that. But i will stop, because i dont want this to look like excuse fest.
And that days turned into days, that i seriously didn't want to be here anymore. When i get to raid, or just logging on before the fucking raid, and i see those groups of people. People that thinks they have grabbed god for balls, people that are unable to take any kind of critics, suggestions, people that think they have reached the point that improvement is no longer possible, but in reality, they would need improvements BADLY.BADLY. And i will not name people, im pretty sure under that thick skulls they maybe realize that, maybe they dont. Bottom line, i dont care, anymore. I know for myself that i am far from that "imba" player and that there is shittione of place for personal improvement. When we raid and people cant listen to simple instructions, doing stuff they were told not to do 100 times, bitching about stuff that is totally out of context, when i see people dont care at all, people that dont want to be there. When i see people being frustrated when 30th wipe on Gorefiend occurs, while in their eyes we should be in execute phase (while, we need 30 pulls to put on proper gear, for wich was asked on pull nr.1), people logging on WAY after raid starts, going afk constantly (and bitching to other people when they do it?), elite people that knows everything, mocking other people while adds are not being touched by their spells. Epic jokes, that were gone, atmosphere that is sometimes worse than on funereal, etc.. Well, it got to the point where i simply give up.
I feel pretty fucking horrible because of that, letting that 10 amazing people & players that actually wants to be here,wants to raid, participate in stuff, that are aware that teamplay is needed to be sucessfull at this. I could do cleaning up, i could remove "toxicity", recruit new people all over again, trying to make fresh start. And as horrible as that sounds, i cant be arsed. And i think, eventho i am GM(repeating, never wanted to be) i can do that. And i have decided that i will.
Its funny how i thought we are not going anywhere, that we are gonna stay around for god knows how long, but my view on that has changed completely past lets say 2 months. And i am sorry for that.
Some people might stay, might do what i guess i SHOULD do, trying to make things work again, recruit new people and keep pushing. But i have decided that i will step down, find new place, where i will try to keep people alive and stop being frustrated over the things, that i think i really dont need to be. It was great, untill it was great. :)
I really didnt know how to start, what should i even say and it turned out to be a fucking novel like this. Im sorry if your eyes hurts you! But ye, felt like i need to say something, because again, its unfair for people that actually still have that desire for raid progression. And im pretty sure that people, either you stay here or find new place, you will have no problem adapting to any situation given.
GL & HF and im sorry again.
ps. sorry for grammar & bad words, i just cant be fucking arsed to edit stuff. :)